At a glance, Lois Einhorn appears a normal, attractive brunette. However, she is Ray Finkle, a top-notch football placekicker, who was hired to play for the Miami Dolphins in Superbowl 17. Finkle was a recognised football wunderkin, who enjoyed success at every turn. His incredible kicking skills eventually led to him being lovingly nicknamed “The Mule” by football fans everywhere.
During the final seconds of Superbowl 17 (the game that Finkle was brought in to ensure the Dolphins won), however, this all changed. Finkle missed the kick which would have won the Dolphins the entire game. Despite furiously protesting that it was in fact Dan Marino’s fault (he wasn’t holding the ball properly, affecting the kick), he was disgraced. His mistake cost the Dolphins the game, and the money and prestige that would have come with it. It cost those betting on the game their money. His disgrace disgraced his own home-town, who previously lauded the fact that such a successful personage hailed from their area. Upon his return home after the game, he found his house defaced by those furious with his apparent incompetence. Those in his favourite bar beat and expelled him from their tavern. Finkle’s entire life was ruined. The glory he had once enjoyed, the attention, the women, all gone - replaced by universal scorn and hatred. All because of Marino.
Read about Finkle’s plan to redeem himself, and the details of his vengeance on Marino by clicking the section entitled: “Finkle’s Plan”, as well as view a plethora of other things about Ray Finkle and his feminine disguise by navigating around this website.
Ray Finkle Story Preview Now Available! NEW CHAPTERS ADDED!
The following is a small snippet of the upcoming novel, telling the sexy story of Ray Finkle from his perspective. Please tell me what you think by clicking here! Enjoy!
Prologue January 14th, 1994, 10:30am
"And if you don't tell me you've got the bastard soon, you'll be outta here like a bullet from a gun!"
The big wooden door of her office slammed in the officer's face, with a great thud that made everyone in the room look up.
"Poor, Ricky," said one officer, who was watching the entire scene from across the cramped, sunlit room.
"That's the second time this week he's had to deliver bad news to Einhorn," his partner said with mock-serious tone.
The first officer reclined in his chair, and lit a cigarette. He puffed it to get it started. "I can't help feel sorry, for him, Jack," he drawled in his deep, southern accent.
"Better him, than me," the second officer retorted. "Look at him."
The second officer motioned toward Ricky, who was still loitering around the Lieutenant's door looking despondent.
"The guy's a slippery bastard, the one he's trying to catch," the first officer said.
Jack reclined with along with his partner. "Isn't that the dealer that got off a few weeks ago?"
"Yep. Not enough evidence to convict. Einhorn was pretty pissed about that one. Now Ricky's the one who has to suffer for her mistake."
"What are we talkin' about, Jim?" a voice said from the left of the two smoking officers, addressing the first officer.
"Poor, poor Ricky", Jim said, still staring intently at Ricky.
All three of them watched Ricky for a time.
A few moments passed and the office door opened again.
Jim's eyes widened. He took his cigarette out of his mouth. A few grains of ashes fell on his black police uniform as he did so.
As if in slow-motion, a gorgeous, proper-looking, brunette woman in her mid-thirties strutted out of the room in a grey business skirt and jacket, bearing a scowl on her face so terrible that it was easy to figure who was responsible for the earlier yelling and door-slamming.
This was Lieutenant Lois Einhorn of the Miami Police Department, a slender high-ranking police officer with a great pair of legs and a bad attitude. She stomped angrily toward one of the Sergeants under her - the oily and obese Sergeant Robert Aguado with greying hair - and handed him some papers.
Soon after, Einhorn bent over a desk in the process of explaining something about the papers to Aguado, which had the result of extending her plush, round ass in the direction of the officers.
Jim took another puff of his cigarette as he watched the Lieutenant's behind sway every so often as she continued to speak to Aguado, and in his gruff, so then drawl, he spoke: "You know, people ask me sometimes why I'm still a cop. Why I come to work every day only to be shot at in the middle of a robbery or getting into fights with drunk-drivers."
The other officers half-looked at Jim, not sure where this was going.
"That my friends," Jim continued, extending his cigarette in two fingers towards Einhorn's ass. "That my friends is the reason."
The other two officers laughed.
The first officer’s eyes moved down Einhorn’s body toward her feet, upon which were two stilettos matching the rest of her outfit. As her body shifted, Einhorn’s skirt lifted slightly, revealing a hint of the back-seams lining her pantyhose. The first officer’s eyes widened, and he felt his erection begging to be free of his pants.
Breaking News: Announcing a new book inspired by the story of Ray Finkle/Lois Einhorn!
Holly Sharp, the creator of this website, has just released a new novel, heavily-inspired by the story of Ray Finkle. Here is a brief synopsis of the story:
A 419-scammer has lost a large sum of money with which he was entrusted by his colleagues, and now must race against time to pay them back. After his plan to conduct a series of robberies to get the cash falls through, the scammer gets an idea that may save his life. 'The Black Widow' by Holly Sharp relays the story of this scammer's humiliating attempt to seduce, marry and murder a millionaire by the name of Benjamin Davis, in a desperate attempt to save his own life, as well as fuel a lavish lifestyle of women, drugs, and alcohol. Will the scammer be successful? Or will the victim discover his plans and secretly turn the tables on him?
Please visit the official website to read a couple of thrilling excerpts from the novel, as well as meet the main characters.
All purchases will go toward the continued development of this website, as well as the eventual creation of a novel that will fill in the blanks in Finkle's story. This novel will be free, and it will explore the things that were left unseen in the Ace Ventura movie, such as the Super Bowl, Podactor's murder, and much, more more!