UPDATE 1/5/2018: New Lois Einhorn website and content! View it here!
Lost Superbowl 17 for the Miami Dolphins because missed the game-winning kick and was humiliated in front of millions for a mistake that he did not make.
Went back to his home town where he was presumably violently assaulted by gangs of men who bet their entire life savings on the game.
Attempted to live in his old house but was subject to constant bombardment by those still furious over the outcome of the game - living through the vandalism of his house, further assaults and presumably even drive-by shootings given the bullet holes in the house, as well as the constant humiliation from the public and media - all of which his parents suffered through as well.
Not being able to take it anymore, he hatched a plan to kill a hiker, and steal his identity in order to redeem himself - and get back at Marino.
Searched for a hiker for days but came up with nothing.
Finally stumbled upon a hiker - Lois Einhorn - and steals her identification.
Decided to become Einhorn rather than continue the search for a male hiker since doing so would make his plans much, much easier to execute.
Joins the Miami Police Department as Lois Einhorn.
Gets breast implants, began growing-out his hair, and gets other work done to make his disguise hold up in romantic situations, giving up women and enjoyable sex for the seven years he would have to pretend to be Einhorn, as a secondary result.
Finkle makes Lieutenant by way of seduction and sexual manipulation.
Finkle's first date with Podactor, during which he stole the key to the stadium where Snowflake was kept.
Finkle's first meeting with Ventura.
Finkle's second date with Podactor, which ends with Podactor's death after he caught Finkle off guard and found Finkle's penis.
Ventura shatters the cover story Finkle devised to cover-up his involvement with Podactor's death.
Finkle has his cronies kidnap Marino.
Nearly has a heart-attack as Ventura expounds Finkle's own plan to him and says things which might indicate that he knows he is Finkle.
Decides to fuck Ventura in order to find out whether Ventura knew he was Finkle, and completely absolve himself of suspicion by reinforcing his female identity.
Finkle would then...
Kill Snowflake at the docks and frame Marino as the one who kidnapped and killed the dolphin, Snowflake.
Convict Marino, give a press conference as Finkle, which the press would undoubtedly request which would completely absolve him of disgrace, and then get transferred to an overseas Police Department so nobody would question Einhorn's disappearance.
Get his hair cut and get rid of his boobs.
Visit Marino in prison as himself, and put on Einhorn's voice so Marino would know it was Finkle who ruined his life by making everyone in the world hate and despise him, think he was insasne, and put him in prison for the murder of Ventura, and the killing and kidnapping of Snowflake. He would also know that he passionately kissed the man who did this to him - and enjoyed it.
Presumably recieve public apologies from the Dolphins, as well as acknowledgement that the game would have been won if not for Marino's incompetence, becoming the 'foiled hero' of the game.
Caught Ventura attempting to rescue Marino.
Decided to pin the kidnapping on Ventura (whom he too despised) and set him up as Marino's accomplice, who would have been dead once the police arrived - killed by Marino when he'd gotten cold feet about the whole thing.
Called Aguado - who dispatched every member of the Police Department to help the Lieutenant - so that they would arrive just after this stretch of the plan was complete.
Got distracted by a Superbowl announcer once again slandering Finkle to millions of people before he could kill Ventura.
Had to fight Ventura but was not able to kill him as the police got there before he was in a position to do so.
Tries hysterically to get the cops to kill Ventura.
Melissa Robinson holds Emilio at gunpoint, threatening to kill him if anyone harms Ventura.
In the stale-mate, Ventura begins relaying Finkle's entire plan to the entire Police Department - this time with the knowledge that Finkle is Einhorn. Finkle stars shaking with worry at this point.
Nobody believes Ventura at first, but Finkle is eventually exposed when Ventura rips off Finkle's skirt and reveals his half-tucked penis to the world (after his skirt was ripped off, at that point, he knew there was nothing he could do).
Finkle was then tried and convicted, presumably sentenced to an all-male prison, where he female attributes would be highly valued - and never removed until release, whereupon he would seek his revenge on Ventura...
The media would presumably then pick up the story, and the entire world would know that Ray Finkle spent seven years in women's clothing.
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